finally i understand how people think of me. say me being paranoid. yes i'm. i learnt my lesson. and i realised that i'm actually really weak in mental. cant take a single thing that just happen. i broke down and cried. yes i cried. i cried till my eyes are swollen. Know why? because my heart has broken into pieces again. it broke into pieces again. knowing that i'm not well yet due to the infection. i still cried no matter what. it just pain in my heart.

Learning the lesson of being not to be what i am. I wanna change yes but i cant change right? a leopard wont change it spots. this words reflects to me. like what i keep say about the ones that i knew years. actually i'm the one that is the leopard wont change it spots. thats why all are leaving me for good. I really dont deserve a good treatment like this. i wont get what i want. i wont get what it's meant for me. it just that it's not for me and never be meant for me. i think it's time to end all these things and i wont be doing this anymore. for good. almost had suscidal thoughts whenever everything happens. it just make me think that it's really scary and how scary it is to end my life. but i gave up the thoughts. I'm Sorry to those people i have hurt. I wont bother anyone of you anymore. I will leave and take my things along. Wont be going for anything. No matter what i'm not welcome at all. I know that i'm not welcome so i wont be going without being invited.